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Problem parents

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Every school has them… the ones that will not listen, raise their voices, and act up in other ways. No, I am not talking about problem students. I am talking about problem parents.

How in the world are you supposed to deal with problem parents? You assign problem parents more homework or send them to the principal’s office (although, when extra action needs to be taken, you most definitely can ask for the principal’s help.) So, what are you supposed to do with problem parents?

Dr. Michael G. Thompson breaks down problem parents into 4 categories: the aggressive parent, the anxious parent, the denying parent, and the culturally different parent. We are going to summarize and focus on how to deal with the first three types of problem parents.

Problem Parent #1 – The Aggressive Parent

The aggressive parent can be the most intimidating type of problem parent to deal with. Here are some hints as to how to deal with this type of problem parent:

When meeting with an aggressive parent, neither counterattack nor defend yourself when the aggressive parent is talking. He is likely expecting either for you to offend him or himself to offend you. Do not allow this. Just listen until he is done, and then explain your point of view.
Feel free to ask if the aggressive parent is angry with you or if he is threatening you.
If the aggressive parent continues to threaten or yell, etc. then end the meeting. Ending the meeting does not mean that you will be finished with the parent. Instead, you suggest meeting together with the director of the school later.
It is ok to call in reinforcements. In fact, if you are nervous for a meeting with such a problem parent, talk with your colleagues and others about what to do and say, and maybe consider doing some role-playing before the meeting

Problem Parent #2 – The Anxious Parent

It is going to be very difficult to reassure an anxious parent. Such a problem parent can be highly unreasonable. Here are a few hints for dealing with an anxious parent:

Start out any meeting with an anxious parent by reassuring him. Try to ease his anxieties
Then work on finding out why exactly this problem parent has such fears. Find the source of his fears.
Try to have the parent think about their fears and whether or not there is any reality to back up their fears. Ask them whether or not there is any reason that his fears will be realized.
Make sure that you fully understand what the anxious parent is saying and then repeat back what you understand. If you think that the anxious parent is asking you to constantly make sure that Mary’s shoes are tied, then ask if this is what he means.

Problem Parent #3 – The Denying Parent

How in the world should you deal with a denying parent? Such a parent may deny everything that you say, even if you have proof. Here are some tips in to deal with this sort of problem parent:

When dealing with a denying parent, put things down in writing and be completely honest. Make sure that if you are saying something negative, your tone is negative (do not allow a denying parent to interpret a negative statement as a positive one). Be specific with your statement.
Be blunt. When meeting with a denying parent, you should not try to skirt the issue. Tell a denying parent outright, “Johnny scared the other kids with a knife today.” Do not allow a denying parent to deny what is happening. You can not cushion the blow as much as you would with another parent.
You can be aggressive and thought-provoking with the questions that you ask.
If you absolutely can not get to this sort of problem parent, it is ok to give up, knowing that you tried your hardest.