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Parent Teacher Conferences

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Parent teacher conferences are pleasant when you meet with the parents of a child who is excelling in many areas, behaves well, and seems to have the desire to learn. But let us face it, teachers—the children who have all three of these is attributes are less than half the class. There will be many children who will need to work towards improvement in a few if not several areas. And parent teacher conferences are designed for you, as the teacher, to bring up these challenges. Of course you do not want to offend a parent or give off the impression that you think they have a “bad child”—so what exactly should you say and HOW should you say it? Here are a few tips if you are new to the delicate world of parent teacher conferences.

Especially with a child who has problems in class, be sure to prepare for your parent teacher conference.
• Begin with an expression of sincere concern for the child. Your words need to be hopeful, not judgmental. Try to smile a bit—a worried expression on your face could make the parent feel worse. You could start with the levels of the childs academic achievement in the class, or something else that you think will begin the parent teacher conference on a happier note. Then you will want to say something like:

"Now that we have gone over Jimmys grades. We need to discuss some behavior concerns. Jimmy sometimes says hurtful things to other children. I am afraid this will push his friends away and leave him feeling alone."

• Give examples, and be as specific as you can. For instance:

"Jimmy will say things like ‘you are so fat that the farmer thought you were his lost pig and took you home,’ or ‘ugly ugly you are so ugly, your mom wants to throw you away!’”

• Then explain to the parents that you have tried some ways to fix things:

"I told Jimmy that he should try to say nice things to others and that it makes people feel very sad when he says mean things to them—even if he is just joking. He seemed to understand me, but he has continued to be unkind."

• After all, these are parent teacher conferences, so ask the parents what they think you should do.

"Tell me, what has helped you to change Jimmys negative behavior patterns? Every child has them as they are growing up. How do you think I can help Jimmy be kinder to others?"

• At parent teacher conferences decide together what can be done to help the student. Have some suggestions ahead of time—but be sure to listen for better ideas from the parent or parents.

"I was thinking that we could sign John up for a special group we have here called ‘my friends.’ It is all about kindness. Do you think this would work? Do you have any ideas?"

• Be encouraging and positive. The purpose of parent teacher conferences is to make a plan for improvement where improvement is needed. Decide together with the parents what the best plan of action might be to help their child. Be sure to smile—you can say something like:

"I really think that this plan of action will help Jimmy in class. He is a good kid. I appreciate that you took the time to come today."

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